{Monday Muse} How Do I Choose My Bridesmaids?

Here’s hoping you had a fantastic weekend, full of wedding wonders! Over at A Vintage Wedding Guide, we love hearing from brides about dilemmas, issues or ideas for our Monday Muse, so if you have a burning wedding issue, send it our way & we’ll make sure it’s covered!


Kirill Teslia Photography

Today, we’re thinking about the sensitive subject of how to choose your special ladies for the big day. Selecting your bridesmaids (and maid of honour if you’re having one) can be a tricky decision! Do you have your oldest friend, who is lovely, but actually you haven’t seen for 5 years and feel a responsibility because your mum’s her mum’s best friend? Does your groom have sixteen sisters who all demand to be part of the wedding party? Or do you go completely all out & have EVERYONE just to keep them all happy? It’s a tough one! So here are some things to think about when choosing your beautiful maids!

IMG_2564 copy

Chiara Esposito – Photographer

1) Make it people you can trust. The night before, it’s lovely to have someone (or a couple of special people) staying with you. Two of my bridesmaids stayed with me the night before my wedding & we had such a lovely catch up & ended up going to bed far too late. But it was lovely to have them there to calm my nerves. On the day, you NEED someone who is going to take control. The hairdresser might be running late, your false eyelashes keep falling off or your strap breaks. The last thing you need is someone who panics. Choose calm, sensible & pragmatic friends who will step in & take control.


CTI Photography

2) Avoid the drama. If your friend, sister or cousin twice removed is all about HER the chances are she’ll do this on your big day. The last thing you need is someone stealing the limelight & making you take a backseat. This one may be tricky if your very closest friend or relation is a control freak but maybe there’s another VERY important task you need them to do in the morning just so they’re not there stressing you out!

Paul & Anna (4)

Bloomwood Photography

3) Guide them on their duties. Lots of bridesmaids (and especially best men I see at weddings) don’t really know what they’re supposed to do! Chances are they might never have been a bridesmaid before (just like you haven’t been a bride!) You need someone who will touch up your lipstick, move your veil out of your face for the photos, check your train and even help you to the loo! It’s not easy getting on a toilet with a huge dress! (See point 1 on making it someone you can really trust!) Before the wedding make sure they all know what they’re supposed to do & when. It just makes it much easier on the day!

Jodie & Kelvin wedding Townfield Barn

Andy Scott Clarke

4) Don’t feel pressured. Some girls LOVE the limelight and it’s hard to get through to them that actually this day is about YOU, not them. But the last thing you want is to look back and realise that “best friend” didn’t stick around after your wedding and actually you can’t really remember why you asked her in the first place!

Karen and Mark small-1

5) Let them down gently. Of course, nobody wants to upset anyone on such a special day. Make it clear right from the beginning WHO you want and explain why. If they’re a real friend, they’ll understand.

Good luck, ladies, and let us know how you get on!


2 thoughts on “{Monday Muse} How Do I Choose My Bridesmaids?

  1. Such a good post… I went the simple route when picking out my bridesmaid and get it to family only – my sister is my MOH and my cousin is my bridesmaid. This way, because we were only have 2 attendents, I didn’t have to deal with any friends getting hurt. Family will be in my life forever and I know these girls are there for me no matter what!

    • So pleased you enjoyed it. That was a good way of approaching it! I think it can often be the cause of people getting upset over something that really shouldn’t cause any stress. Many of us have lots of friends that mean the same to us for different reasons. Trust your instinct and your real friends should be happy with your decision. NO GUILT BRIDES! x

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