{Monday Muse} Two years on….My marriage tips!

It’s Monday again already and, of course, it’s our weekly Monday Muse! We have a different kind of post today. The reason being? It’s mine & my wonderful husband’s two year anniversary! While I cannot believe that two years have flown by since the best day of my life, in other ways it seems only five minutes that we’ve been together! We got married pretty sharpish – a six month engagement after being together just over a year. Like I’ve said before – when you know, you know. So, today, I decided to share what I’ve learnt about marriage in those short 24 months, the ups & downs of a 24/7 relationship and the advice I’d offer others! I hope you enjoy my (sometimes tongue-in-cheek) tips and I’d love to hear yours too so pop a comment in the box below!

What’s it like?

Ask any married couple and your normal response will be: “Exactly the same as not being married”. Which it is, to an extent. In most ways, being married is just the same as living with someone – you know their annoying habits, their traits, the way they get grumpy if they haven’t eaten and none of that changes once you’ve said “I do”. But there is a feeling. A security. A 100% reassurance that this is your partner, your friend, your confidante. My husband and I always say our first choice of someone to hang out with is each other. And you get to do that every day!

The perks

  •  You sound like a grown up. At 31, saying “my boyfriend” was ridiculous and I never liked “partner” – always sounded like we were off ballroom dancing. Saying “my husband” never gets boring – I love it! “My husband and I will take dinner in our room”.
  • You get another nice ring. There’s nothing more satisfying than popping that wedding ring on with your gorgeous sparkler and really feeling that the symbolism is now complete. A ring means eternity and that’s how it feels.
  • You get a new name & signature to perfect! I always hated my old signature because I pretty much designed it when I was 13 and couldn’t change it. I loved having the opportunity to create a really good signature for my married name! It’s also a damn sight easier to have the same name – people know how to address post, at last.
  • You can bicker in public without people thinking you’re on the verge of breaking up. Because all married couples do.  It’s the law.

OK, so this is all lovely & true, but let’s face it, it’s not all plain sailing.

The not-so-perky bits

  • You sound old. “Husband” and “Wife” can be pretty scary words. Even to me, who didn’t get married til I was 32.
  • People expect you to have babies. Straight. Away. I can’t even relax my stomach for fear of someone eyeing it up & getting the wrong idea. I’m not pregnant, I just ate a pie. And, if, for any reason, you’re not drinking at a social gathering, just watch your friends’ eyes light up!
  • You can’t just flounce out after a row. You’re married now. Grow up and sort it out.

And, actually, I can’t think of any other negatives. Perhaps I just like being married too much, perhaps I haven’t been married long enough! But I do have some tips, which I hope people will find helpful!

  1. Talk. Talk all the time about everything. Even when you know they’re not listening. This is one I’ve had to learn. I don’t come from a family of talkers but my husband always says “Anything can be sorted out with talking”. And he’s bloody right.
  2. Spend time together. Both being self-employed & working from home, we’re always together but this isn’t what I mean. I can be in the same room as my husband all day long but none it is valuable time together. Book dates, go out somewhere new. We look at the weather forecast and decide which day on the week will be our date night.
  3. Reminisce. There’s nothing quite like talking about the very beginning to bring it all back home – those first dates, first time you kissed……amazing.
  4. Play fair. Say sorry when you know you’re in the wrong & never take each other for granted. Life is short, hold onto those you love with all your might.
  5. Be best friends. Think about how you would treat a friend and do the same. Buy little gifts, even silly ones. Surprise each other with unplanned nights out – be kind to each other.

I can honestly say that I have loved every minute of being married so far. The bond you have is amazing and should be treasured. It’s such an exciting thing planning your wedding but remember what it’s really all about – you two.

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